Let Me Understand
by neoncat666
Summary: "Ever since Rich was free from his Squip, he really hasn't been able to adjust to not having someone telling him what to do anymore." Inspired by a conversation Richgoranski and I had on tumblr


Ever since Rich was free from his Squip, he really hasn't been able to adjust to not having someone telling him what to do anymore. Imagine having someone helping you lose all your insecurities for two years only for it to be gone in an instant. Sure he was happy that the Squip was gone, but he really couldn't take it. In those two years his emotions were so regulated, now his depression was coming back full swing.

That's probably why he was currently having a breakdown in the school bathroom. He knows that his lisp causes people not to understand him, he knows he can't even function without someone telling him exactly what to do. Rich is still surprised by the fact that Jake still hangs around him.

"Rich?" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Jake spotted his friend over in the corner. Hobbling over, he saw that Rich was shaking with sobs. Not being able to bend down due to the broken legs, Jake leaned his leg onto Rich's back letting the pressure tell him that Jake's there.

Rich was sobbing at Jake's feet while Jake mumbled words of encouragement not really knowing what to do except worry. Jake knew he heard Rich mumble something out, but between his lisp and sobbing, he couldn't exactly tell what was said. Getting the message, Rich tried to speak more clearly.

"Why haven't you left me yet?" He sounded so distraught and confused in that single sentence. Jake stared at him with confusion.

"Dude, I'm not just gonna leave you here crying?" Apparently that was the wrong the answer because a beat after, he heard a small "That's not I meant."

"I don't understand what you mean then." Rich seemed to get back his voice now as he spilled.

"I'm a loser, I can't speak right, I can't even function without the Squip, it was just a matter of time before you realized you could do so much better than me!" Jake was appalled to even hear that coming from his best friend.

"I would never just leave you! You're my best friend and I care about you!" Rich just gripped onto Jake's crutches continuing to sob. Both of them didn't know how to talk about feelings. Rich was already mortified that Jake found him like this. Once Rich was done crying, he got up, and immediately ran out and home.

Rich actively avoided Jake after that. Refused to get back to his calls or texts and always went in another direction when he saw him. Soon enough Jake had enough and got Chloe to drive him over to Rich's house.

He knocked on the door a few times and waited until the door opened to show a slightly spooked Rich. Once Rich saw who it was, he kind of folded into himself suddenly finding the floor very interesting. Jake could tell his eyes were misty. There was a silence before Rich quietly broke it.

"Why are you here?" He sounded sad and it broke Jake's heart that his best friend would even need to say that.

"You've been avoiding me and I'm worried about you." Rich furrowed his brows a bit, a small quirk that showed he was thinking of something big.

"I'm fine. I don't need your pity so you can leave now." Jake was taken aback by his words. He was in no way here out of pity or that he felt he had to.

"I'm here cause I actually care about you! I'm not here because I think I have to i willingly want to make sure you're okay and it's clear you're not." Jake stared and noticed that Rich was silently crying a lot, tears rolling off his nose.

Slowly inching forward, Jake reached forward and pulled Rich onto his chest while leaning against the doorway for support. Rich made a small yelp before starting to full on sob into his shirt. Rubbing slow, small circles into his back, Jake heard Rich muttering into his shirt.

Rich knew that Jake couldn't hear him through his lisp, sobbing, and the muffling of Jake's shirt, but he just needed to get everything out. Jake was very genuinely worried for him.

Finally Rich calmed down and backed up still looking at the ground.

"I'll go back inside now. Bye." Jake's eyes widened a bit at the statement.

"No! Please just at least. tell me what's wrong so i can help." Rich let out a weak laugh.

"I wish I could. I don't even fully understand what's wrong with me," Rich looked up at Jake for the first time, "I'm different, ok? I'm like a different person than before, but I'm also...the same. This is more me than I've ever been." If you listened closely, you could hear Jake's heart break for his friend. He was supposed to be his best friend yet he didn't even notice that Rich had been struggling with himself.

Not knowing what to do, Jake opened his arms again. Hesitantly, Rich went back to being hugged.

"I don't fully understand what's happening or what's going to happen, but I seriously hope that you understand that I'll always stick by your side and support you no matter what." Rich let out a slight sob again and gripped Jake's shirt hard. They stayed like that in the safety of eachothers arms.

Jake was going to stick by his word. He would look out for Rich and he knew that Rich would look out for him too if the time came.


End file.
